Friday, 2 July 2010

Tears can't be good for keyboards

A week ago I was totally overwhelmed by unwelcome goings on brought to my life.  This morning I was overwhelmed by your comments and emails to my last post.  Yes you made me also gave me an amazing amount of strength!  Each and every comment I read from you took me a step nearer to feeling brighter, a little more hopeful and most importantly felt cared about. 
I have always kept myself to myself and been a big believer in live and let live.  I do not judge people by the way they choose to live. I have always taught my children to love everyone, be forgiving and above all have a good heart. If you have children you will know that its not always easy to teach these values when there is so much cruelty and badness in the world. 
Recently I have had to question these values myself.  Have I been naive? Have I been in lala land? or just plain stupid?  (still working it out).  Someone decided that they wanted what I have.  Someone decided I was too happy.  She made it her  business to destroy that.  When she verbally attacked me I took it on the chin and did not retaliate.  When she physically attacked me I did not fight back.   My calmness and tolerance only fueled her fire. She now knows how to hurt me....she involved my children.
The sheer despair this has caused me is paralysing, the pain and sorrow I feel is not for myself but for my son.  He is only 12 and has to endure someone else's spite and we have to prove his innocence against her lies.  He is confused and not emotionally mature enough to understand.  I have questioned faith, humanity, the justice system and my values.  Until reading your comments and emails we were alone and isolated.  
It takes what little courage I have to appear cheerful and strong when my son is around.  You have all contributed to lifting me high enough to actually get dressed today and eat!  I am even going to start on the laundry and clean the house. 

I will catch up with your blogs this evening as I would love to see how the boudoir swapping is going!  I will also post about my own lovely swap partner kath of Juicy Fig and the gorgous goodies she made will all want one and will be pleased to know you can buy them in her cute little shop!

Your kindness, dearest blogstars, is astounding. 
 Again I thank you all. xxx


  1. Oh Deborah, it's so awful that life can be so terrible at times. This woman sounds positively horrendous. You sound a bit like me. I try to teach my children to above all else, be kind and be respectful to all others. But some people, are just pure evil. They are bad through and through. They live their lives hating others for having what they don't have. It becomes their life's mission just to hurt people and be totally vile. Very sad. I am far too nice, I always give people the benefit of the doubt and have always taken the calm approach to any crisis. But I question myself sometimes too. Maybe I am just too calm and controlled and should let rip a bit more! If this now involves your son, the protector mother comes out, and do what you have to do to protect him and make sure he is okay and not too damaged by this person. I really know how hard it is to feel so terrible inside but have to maintain a great front for your children. Life is tough for us mums and only other mums can really know that. Take strength from us, know that we are here for any advice, help, whatever you need that can help you though the day just that little bit better. I REALLY hope that the vile lady gets her just desserts and you and your family can resume some sort of normality to your lives again. Much love Vanessa xxxxxxxxx

  2. Deborah, what horrid goings-on. I have had a bit of a run-in with a jealous someone this week but nothing compared to what you've been through. I'm afraid though, I am a fight fire with fire person. Far less dignified than you but it does sometimes bring a conclusion far quicker.

    You sound like a wonderful mother but you need some support too. My advice would be for you to get yourself some allies - be honest with people and tell them about this nasty bitch - make sure you and your son are never on your own with her too. If she's sinking as low as involving your son, she's obviously a despicable coward.

    Alternatively, just say the word and I'll come and deck her for you!!!

    Do hope it gets sorted.

    Hugs, Hx

  3. I'm so sorry you have been through such a personal attack and your son too. Hope that you are both safe from this person and can put it behind you. Like you we are trusting of people and don't judge on their past history but on how they present themselves to us, yet my son was whipped by a boy with a pea stick last year with absolutely no provocation and we felt disappointed with the justice system. It is all behind us now, but it does shake your confidence in fellow human beings - not everyone has the instinct of right from wrong, it would seem. Hope things get better from here for you. Betty x

  4. Me again.....I think Heather is right...just say the word and we will all be round to floor her!!!!!!!! he he! Just remember, in bloggy land, some of us will be there behind you to prop you up on the very dark days and the rest of us will be there to hold your hand and help pull you forward through to the sunshine again. Don't feel that you are alone in this. xxx

  5. I don't know what's happened, but your post has brought a tear to my eye, sending you (((hugs)))) through my computer keyboard xx

  6. Sending You Love & Support at this horrendous time, it is easier to bear insults to you but impossible when they involve your children - it makes it so much more painful! I admire your dignity and reserve - I am much like Heather of Pink Milk in my fury - xxx

  7. Sometimes you have to fight for what you have. Someone tried to hurt me and my family a few years ago. It tore us apart for a while but I fought back and kept telling everyone how much I loved them.

    We are all stronger now and God willing will never have to face that sort of trial again.

    It can still be painful to remember it and at the time the pain was unbearable. But you and your family will come through this. A little bit at a time.

    Love to you all
    Alison xx

  8. hello you xx

    i am so sorry to visit and find that you are having a truly horrid time - life is sometimes just plain awful :(
    we are all sending you good, happy vibes and lots of love from the Highlands
    keep strong lovely lady
    t x

  9. Sounds like you're really going through it at the moment. Just remember what goes around comes around and eventually this woman will get back what she gives out at some point. :) xx

  10. There is nothing stronger than a mother protecting her kids, so you will find the strength to get through this. What a truly awful time, my thoughts are with you both.
    Kandi x

  11. Prayers going up for sweet, wonderful you. I still protect my children and they are 28 and 25.



  12. Just like all your blog followers i have watched daily for you to return,so worried for you.What a horrible time for you,I thought the comments were all I was thinking and more.If you have rised out of that dark place and seen a litle light then now the only way is up.All will be well, how wonderful that you are not alone, sharing is sure a way of finding how much people care and the load is shared as well. We are all here for you.xx

  13. I'm so glad to see a blog update from you - and yes after having my own personal despair over the past month I agree - tears are not good for the keyboard - and with coco rose who said "some of us will be there behind you to prop you up on the very dark days and the rest of us will be there to hold your hand and help pull you forward through to the sunshine again" the support I received via the cyber world got me through yesterday when I was at my deepest despair. I'm thinking of you xxx I've always said you want to see a woman's strength - you hurt her children!

  14. Hello my friend.
    What can I say that hasn't already been said? I'm afraid I'm very like Coco Rose....I'm a calm persona who tries to always see the good in everyone and everything....but I know life isn't like that.
    Sometimes tho' you need to see a positive in a negative.
    As hard as it is hunny...stick to your instincts about your situation, be true to yourself and your family and have faith in your judgements.....your son will know you chose the right decision for him when he's a little older to understand and will love you for it...
    Unfortunately there are some horrible people out there....I'm a firm beleiver in what goes around will come around...
    If we lived closer hun I would come round, pop on the kettle and make you sit down for five mins with a big ((hug)) I don't I'm sending it all to you now...

    Coco Rose is right, those of us out there who take blogland seriously do help each other out on those sad and dark days. I know from everyone's support last year how much it helped me.
    Take each day for what it is my lovely...and try to enjoy a happy moment somewhere in the day.
    Love n hugs my friend...
    Karen x x x
    P.S don't forget to email if you feel you want to
    I will be waiting with a hug x x x

  15. It all sounds horendous! It can be very hard to keep any faith in humanity at all some times - and I am trying to find mine again after loosing it at work.

    There is nothing worse than your children being threatened in any way - and no matter how old and able to deal with it they are you still hurt for them, but when it happens when they are young...

    I really hope things sort themselves out - get help that is out there if you need it, be it the citizens advise, smaritans or even the police!

    and keep smiling


  16. Sorry to read you've been having a rough time, sending you much positive vibes and bloggy love, surround yourself in everyones good wishesxxxxx

  17. Hi There,
    I hope that you are feeling stronger,I know it is hard when you feel that you are not reaping what you have sown,but you MUST continue to live your life with an open heart and your loving nature- the source of your sorrow WILL get her 'come uppance'and she must be a pretty sad and tortured soul to cause such misery....
    It will all be ok in the end- be strong..
    My Warmest Wishes and Blessings,
    Cally x x x


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