A week ago I was totally overwhelmed by unwelcome goings on brought to my life. This morning I was overwhelmed by your comments and emails to my last post. Yes you made me cry....you also gave me an amazing amount of strength! Each and every comment I read from you took me a step nearer to feeling brighter, a little more hopeful and most importantly felt cared about.
I have always kept myself to myself and been a big believer in live and let live. I do not judge people by the way they choose to live. I have always taught my children to love everyone, be forgiving and above all have a good heart. If you have children you will know that its not always easy to teach these values when there is so much cruelty and badness in the world.
Recently I have had to question these values myself. Have I been naive? Have I been in lala land? or just plain stupid? (still working it out). Someone decided that they wanted what I have. Someone decided I was too happy. She made it her business to destroy that. When she verbally attacked me I took it on the chin and did not retaliate. When she physically attacked me I did not fight back. My calmness and tolerance only fueled her fire. She now knows how to hurt me....she involved my children.
The sheer despair this has caused me is paralysing, the pain and sorrow I feel is not for myself but for my son. He is only 12 and has to endure someone else's spite and we have to prove his innocence against her lies. He is confused and not emotionally mature enough to understand. I have questioned faith, humanity, the justice system and my values. Until reading your comments and emails we were alone and isolated.
It takes what little courage I have to appear cheerful and strong when my son is around. You have all contributed to lifting me high enough to actually get dressed today and eat! I am even going to start on the laundry and clean the house.
I will catch up with your blogs this evening as I would love to see how the boudoir swapping is going! I will also post about my own lovely swap partner kath of Juicy Fig and the gorgous goodies she made me......you will all want one and will be pleased to know you can buy them in her cute little shop!
Your kindness, dearest blogstars, is astounding.
Again I thank you all. xxx